Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
is it fun? or sober?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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