Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
