just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
