I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
