The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
