Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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