Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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