You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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