i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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