I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
