Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
