i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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