Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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