Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
