The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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