WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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