yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
