Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
