Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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