I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
