I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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