whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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