ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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