did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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