i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize