I'm gonna have a badass scar
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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