She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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