I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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