is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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