chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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