I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize