Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
