I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
