Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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