i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
