this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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