my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
