Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
