I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
sarcasm needs its own font
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
