Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
