she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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