she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
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I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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