Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
