Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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