Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She bit a glass in half.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
