I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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