kristin has been a bad kristin
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
