Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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