it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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