i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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