Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
