Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my shit smells like andre
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
