Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
