sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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