Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
