Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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