yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
