Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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