that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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