Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
