the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Your dad touched me again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
