It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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